There are zombie catfish in Texas that hibernate in the mud of dried-up ponds. But it only takes the next good rain to bring them back to life again - paler, thinner and hungrier than ever!
Tabloid hacks are like that. And I say that as an Old School hack, myself.
But never fear, Rupert, in this time of troubles, your tears have watered our ponds. And your legions are reviving!
Now, I don't mean to go all comic book writer here, but there are some striking mythological (even mystical) aspects to this current persecution of dear Uncle R.
You know! All that pulling a sword out of the stone stuff! Only, in this tale, the Black Knight is really the good guy.
But never mind! Plenty of time to explain all that later, once we've saved the Black Knight from himself.
For I hear your cries, fellow creatures of the slime.
"Doesn't this world understand that without people like The Great M, there would be no news?!"
Well, call me an old tabloid romantic with an air-brushed view of life, but what I see when I look through my tab-coloured glasses is a news magnate who's spotted a hole in the fabric of journalism... and heroically thrust himself into it!
What greater love?!
And still, some people insist on harassing him! And for what?!
For having a son who's either incompetent or non compos mentis?!
For wanting to throw money at police or politicians or anything or anyone to insure the chance of making more?!
People!
It's time to do some file-searching in your own soul!
Oh, and while you're there, don't forget to wipe those e-mails, eh?
You know the ones I mean.
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